Muslima Success

With the month of Ramadan being around the corner, there is a wealth of reminders and resources on how to make the most out of Ramadan, for yourself, as well as for your family and children if applicable.  It is important to remember though among the many to do lists, reminders, and suggestions (which include and are not limited to decorating, iftar ideas, children’s activities, Eid gift planning, etc.), our focus ought to be on our unique priorities, abilities, and ultimately the underlying goal of growing closer to God in this blessed month.   As a religious season, Ramadan is also a time which can bring family and community together in a spirit of peace, joy and spiritual growth.  However, with long hours of fasting and unrealistic societal or personal expectations, preparing for and observing the blessed month can have additional challenges for some, despite the desire for it to be a fulfilling time. This may be especially the case for mothers who are pregnant or...

We are all inevitably going to face moments of disappointment in our life – disappointments from work, family, friends, society, and even ourselves. That’s the very nature of the world we live in – it’s not ideal, it’s not perfect and shortcomings are bound to happen from others and from ourselves. The question is how do we deal with these disappointments – how do we reconcile our need to have fulfilling jobs and relationships and fulfill our own promises to ourselves when we as well as others are humans who can be weak and forgetful? How do we forgive when we’re hurt? How do we “forget” when we need to move on? How do we overcome intense feelings of disappointment and sometimes disbelief about what happens around us? Nobody said it was going to be easy – in fact we are told – “Verily We have created the human being into toil and struggle”(Quran 90:4) . We hope, we dream, we strive, we build and yes indeed we can fail, fall, and feel hurt, betrayal, and just simply a lack of empathy an...

This article was originally published with ProductiveMuslim. Sometimes we face stubborn challenges that hold us back from our dreams. They keep us ‘stuck’ and slow down our journey to fulfilling our potential, being more productive, and living life with purpose and passion. These challenges can come in the form of some sort of loss: whether a loss of health, wealth, loved ones, or loved things. They try our emotions and mentally hold us back from fulfilling the vision we have for our life. We are told in the Qur’an: “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 155]. So the question is, how can we overcome the losses, challenges, and disappointments that are inevitable in life? How can we carry on with our lives to fulfill our ultimate purpose and maintain a strong connection with Allah subḥānahu wa ta’āla (glorified and exalted be He)? How can we heal those...

In the Quran, God says “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (39:53) This verse explains that we simply can’t cut ourselves off and lose hope from the love, care, and mercy of Allah. And that we need to believe that Allah didn’t stop loving us, caring about us or depriving of us His mercy – that’s simply not the case. We need to believe with all our heart that Allah has the Power to change our state, our matters, and our life for the better, even after prolonged difficulty, in a matter of hours, minutes, or even seconds. If we look back, sometimes we can come to the realization that everything we have been through was always part of a Divine Plan to purify us and teach us and elevate us to a higher level – one that could have not been reached without the struggles and the challenges and the disappointments. They were all stepp...

In the Quran, God tells us “By time, indeed man is in a state of loss. Except those who believe, and do good and enjoin each other on the truth, and enjoin each other to be patient” (Al-Asr) And we are also told “We will certainly test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and fruits (earnings); but give glad tidings to the persevering and patient” (2:155). These verses explain to us that human beings are naturally and regularly in a state of some sort of loss – some loss of heath, some loss of wealth, some loss of loved ones, some loss of loved ‘things’ – whether they be a career or a dream, and in some extreme cases, safety and freedom. Arguably, if these losses are not managed properly, they can amount to an ultimate loss of a strong connection with Allah, happiness in an after-life, and peace and contentment in this life. So the question is, how can we overcome these losses that are inevitable? How can we carry on with our lives to fulfill our ultimat...

Many of us strive to achieve contentment and success; however, given the nature of the world we live in, we will encounter hardships which will impact our ability to achieve our goals and live the life we want. First, we need to acknowledge that none of us is immune from experiencing sadness, loss, hurt, hopelessness, anxiety and/or a lack of confidence. These hardships may lead us to lose faith in ourselves and those around us if we don’t learn how to manage them properly. Allah [swt] explains to us the inherent lack of perfection in this world and the nature of trials and tribulations in the Quran in various verses when He [swt] says: “Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said “When is the help of Allah?” Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.”[Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 21...

In light of all the tragic and heart breaking events happening to people all around the world, of all faiths, I write this knowing that I and many of the people reading this are infinitely blessed, which can therefore cause a great amount of guilt and feelings of helplessness when we see great suffering happening around us. Indeed, Prophet Muhammad says “Whoever wakes up safely in his home and is healthy in his body and has provisions for his day, would have acquired all the worldly possessions he is in need of.” (Al-Tirmidhi). I am writing this though to help us all form a new lens – yes indeed, people around the world are being tested with losing their homes, their families, and their lives – with losing everything dear to them.  So what is our test? What is our test when we are blessed from head to toe with safety, shelter, food, and family amongst countless other blessings? Our test is how we will use those blessings to make this world a better place. Our test is how we ...

– By Raghad Ebied When you first think of a ‘new place’ – you might think of moving to a new home, which involves packing, selling, maybe saying good bye, and then of course unpacking everything you spent months packing.  Essentially, it can entail building a new life. My family and I recently had the experience of not only moving to a new home, but moving overseas, across the world, to a new community where we did not know anyone.  Now, that is really a whole new place.  Moving with two young children to someplace new was naturally concerning for our family and friends. But as crazy as it seemed, this was what we wanted to try at this stage in our lives, and was ultimately what God had chosen for us now.  There were a number of reasons we decided to make the move and regardless of the reasons, there is so much that I have learned from the exercise of moving overseas and am still learning. The first of which is the process of letting go.   Moving internationally, and having limite...

Alhamdullilah, as Muslims, we are given the gift of understanding our purpose on earth, which people will spend a lifetime searching for, in the Quran in the following verses: “I have not created mankind and jinn except to worship Me” (51:56) “When your Lord said to the angels: ‘I am placing on the earth a caliph” (2:30) These two verses would need pages and chapters written to reveal their full depth and meaning.  Very briefly though, ‘worship’ in the first verse is not limited to our prayers and fasting for example but can truly encompass everything we do in our lives when we do it with the intention of drawing nearer to Allah.  So it can include our eating, sleeping, spending time with our loved ones, studying, working, etc. As for the meaning of ‘caliph’ – this term is used to define the one who will take care of this earth, help build it, make a positive difference and fulfill the role of leadership that Allah (Swt) has placed them in – whatever that role may be – from a Hea...

When any kind of turbulence or tribulation strikes in our lives, we must remember that it does not have to break us or stop us from pursuing our path to Allah (Swt).  In fact, we can by the will of Allah (Swt), use it to confirm and affirm our convictions and to increase our determination, trust in Allah (Swt) and our good deeds in this world that will in sha Allah lead to a place of ultimate bliss and happiness. The prophet peace be upon him has told us that “If Allah loves a servant, He shall test him” so imagine that even in the midst of the tribulation you are facing, the King of the Worlds, the One Who Holds the Dominion of the Heavens and the Earth, the All Merciful, the All Compassionate, is there with you, loving you and guiding you, every step of the way.  The key is will you turn to Him? Will you turn to Him to allow you to transform that tribulation or difficulty into a source of energy and motivation to step into something bigger and better in sha Allah?  Indeed...

Story from Native American Tradition: An elder Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life.  He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me.  It is a terrible fight between two wolves.  One wolf represents anger, greed, hatred, envy, fear, arrogance, resentment, self-pity, guilt, lies and ego.  The other stands for peace, love, patience, joy, compassion, generosity, humility, kindness, friendship, truth, and faith.  This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, as well.” The children thought about this for a while and then one child asked, “Which wolf will win?” The wise elder replied simply, “The one you feed.” Taken from “Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living”

The Power of Your Decisions -By Raghad Ebied Have you decided where you want to be in the next 5 to 10 years of your life? Anthony Robbins makes such a simple, yet thoughtful statement.  He says “You see, ten years from now, you will surely arrive.  The question is: Where? Who will you have become? How will you live? What will you contribute? Now is the time to design the next ten years of your life – not once they’re over”. Many times, we are in the “I wish I had done that” mode – we always seem to realize what we could have done a lot later than when we could have actually done it.  This statement also comes up several times in the Quran when people wished if they had believed or they wished if they had done good. The reason for this is that we are not able to make firm decisions and commit to them.  Or we let the circumstances or the people around us make our decisions for us. What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous stance from you to...

-By Raghad Ebied Think it Feel it Believe it But don’t you dare speak it For fear of offending For fear of seeming condescending For fear that you may be transcending What our community perceives as ‘limits’ Why is there such marginalization And a deep lack of realization That outspoken members of our community Means they’re thinking and they really do care about our unity That they want to see positive change and creativity That they want to support in the cause of liberty Liberty that leads to justice and equity Liberty that is supported by our Quran and Prophet’s history Liberty that leads to a deep sense of humility For Allah’s Grace of giving us the capacity To think, feel, believe and speak meaningfully And to not fear judgment and criticism To not give in to the surrounding cynicism And to continue to pray for a day Where we embrace the outspoken members of our community.    

How many of us dream of having the most righteous and successful family? How many of us envision ourselves making a profound difference in the world? How many of us ultimately dream of the highest level in Jannah, Al-Firdaws? Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was indeed one of the forerunners in teaching us about great ambition and doing all we can with ihsan (excellence). He (peace be upon him) was the first to encourage us to dream bigger as he says: “If you ask for jannah, then ask for al-firdaws, the highest” ( Muslim & Bukhari) .  He, peace be upon him also encouraged us to work hard to achieve these great ambitions by stating: “If one of you shall do a task, then he shall do it with ihsan (excellence)”. Yet, many of us may hold back from great ambitions and may not achieve or experience the true fulfillment we are capable of.   One of the main reasons for this phenomenon is what we may label as a lack of resources: time, money, knowledge, etc.  And yes, we may indeed lack ...

Many have a deep desire to be successful and happy, yet do any of the following apply to you? *Do you feel like you’ve heard lectures, read books, sought advice from friends and family but still can’t seem to achieve the success you truly feel you are capable of? *Do you set goals for yourself, year after year, but cannot seem to maintain the motivation needed to achieve them? *Do you know the secret to achieving success both in this world and in the next given that to ‘succeed’ in this world there seems to be such an emphasis on materialism and to succeed in the next there is an emphasis on faith.  Do you know how you can reconcile the two so you can be happy and fulfilled now and later? *Do you have a way of planning for and tracking your success that is practical and keeps you motivated? If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, then you have certainly been thinking about and quite possibly expereinced some success. And in my upcoming co...

Many people have great dreams, aspirations and goals.  Yet they do not experience a lot of success.  Are any of these barriers to success holding you back? 1) Lack of Ambition Do you believe that your dreams or goals are too great to accomplish and that sometimes ambition in our community is labelled as being unrealistic or even arrogant? 2) Self Limiting Beliefs Are self-limiting beliefs such as your financial situation, time, fear of failure, or cultural interpretations that are not in line with Islamic principles of a Muslim woman’s role holding you back from pursuing your goals? 3) Lack of Motivation Do you find one of your biggest obstacles to success to be a lack of motivation and persistence to achieve your goals, especially when things don’t go as planned? If you answered “yes” to any of the options above, these are usually the top barriers to success and this is why most people will STOP and give up on achieving success.  Please know this is completely normal, and I...

Many people will spend years or even an entire lifetime not living the life they really want – one that is filled with  success, happiness, and fulfillment .  They will settle for mediocrity and live a ‘normal’ life. Have you heard the story of  “Mrs. Normal”?   Mrs. Normal grew up in a ‘normal’ family, received a ‘normal’ education, married a ‘normal’ man, had ‘normal’ children, and then, died. The story of “Mrs. Normal” is probably the story of 95% of people and some may ask,  but what is the problem with being ‘normal’ ? Normal is fine alhamdullilah and growing up with a family, receiving an education, being married and blessed with children are all in deed good things in theory. But is solely achieving these series of steps considered  amazing or outstanding ? Is it living our life with true   ihsan  (excellence) as Allah (Swt) asked of us? Is it fulfilling the role Allah (Swt) assigned as in the Quran as caretakers ( khulufa’a)  of this earth whose responsibility is to make a posi...