Muslima Success

When I first thought about the question posed in a program I watched today about the most important characteristic of success – a lot of things came to mind – vision, passion, patience – but once the speaker explained that it is in fact adaptability, I understood its importance. The case made by the speaker for adaptability being the most important characteristic of success was that change is the only constant we have in life.  Nothing is guaranteed. We can plan, and execute, and persist; but ultimately, things may not happen the way we expected or wanted. Thus, the case for adaptability.  In order to be successful and overcome the odds, challenges, surprises that you encounter, adaptability can be the single most important characteristic of success. The speaker gave the example of Farouq Al-Baz – who believe it or not – was actually one of the  forerunners of helping man land on the moon.  He was an Egyptian Muslim who grew up in the country-side in Egypt and dreamed of being an amazi...

I came across this article and thought it was absolutely interesting.  I am personally not an introvert so I will leave it to you to guess what I am:) I wanted to post this though as a source of encouragement for any of my sisters who are categorized as ‘introverts’.   That what is sometimes labelled as shyness, fear, shame should not hold you back from going forth with your dreams and aspirations in sha Allah, and that in fact you have a unique set of talents and skills to offer. The Prophet peace be upon him also said “Whomever believes in Allah and the last day, let him say that which is good, or stay silent….” (Al Bukhari & Muslim) and we have many other proofs from the Quran and Sunnah about the importance of reflection and to be thoughtful of what we say.  So, I hope the enjoy the article:) The Secret Power Of Introverts Taken from:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2012/01/26/the-secret-power-of-introverts/ Jenna Goudreau , Forbes Staff ...

  Some say religion is the root of all the conflict in the world But if we were to take a moment to pause and ponder We may realize that it can in fact be the reason for peace in our world Peace…justice…morality….these are the principles that religion calls to so I wonder What happened to love for your brother what you love for yourself….Treat your neighbours with kindness…Honour your Parents This is some of what my faith has taught me It has not taught me to hate, it has not taught me to judge, it has not taught me to do evil It has taught me to love, it has taught me to forgive, it has taught me to do good How could we dismiss our common humanity? How could we threaten each other with such vanity? Where have our hearts gone? Why does everything seem so wrong? If we were to look into our hearts, we would know We would know the truth… We would know that religion can be a beautiful thing That it can bring us together, rather than tear us apart Tha...

Brotherhood, Sisterhood, We’re taught from day one until Soon thereafter I start to wonder if we really fit the bill Love for your brother what you love for yourself We repeat it many times but again I wonder when When will we honour it day in and day out When will we look at ourselves before we look out When will we think before we act When will we understand that a hurtful word uttered can never be taken back When will we care about each other like we said we would When will we be as helpful as we could Perfection I know does not belong to anyone For it only belongs to the Creator who created everyone Created us with faults and shortcomings and weak But also created us with the ability to empathise and speak Speak to one another in a way that shows respect Speak to one another in a way that shows what we expect Expect the best of one another and remember the prophet professed Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness. Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness.    

  Your alarm rings at 6:15am.  You have to pray, prepare breakfast and lunch, get dressed and head out quickly so you’ll arrive at work and start jumping from one meeting to the next, making phone calls, replying to emails, and dealing with your boss and co-workers all day.   Besides your fajr prayer in the morning, what else do you do during the work day to remind yourself of Allah and keep your faith high? It’s hard enough to keep your sanity at work sometimes and barely get dhuhr prayer in.   Balancing our faith and work life is certainly not an easy equation.  Here are some tips that may at least set us on the right path:   1) Renew Your Intentions and Perfect Your Work   Islam lays great emphasis on work. In many places in the Qur’an it is made clear that time should not be wasted.  The Qur’an directs a message to humanity that it should contribute positively to the earth meaning we should traverse the universe and make use of all the abundant resources that have bee...

When was the last time we told our children they can accomplish anything they want in the world, no matter how big it seems or how impossible it may be?   Do you think that a six year old could raise enough money to build a well inAfricaand 12 years later continue to fundraise until he has built 500 hundred water projects in 16 countries, bringing water and improved sanitation to over 620,000 people?   Well this six year old really exists – his name is Ryan Hreljac and he has his own international non profit organization called the “Ryan’s Well Foundation”.  Over 12 years ago, after his grade one teacher told him there are children dying inAfricabecause they don’t have clean water, he went home to his parents and demanded that he do something about it.  I heard his mother, Susan Hrejlac, recently share her experience at an event, and she relates that they did not take him seriously until one night at the dinner table, Ryan looked her and his dad straight in the eye, ...

When you think of it, our lives are a series of relationships. From the moment we are born, there is an instant relationship with our mothers and it is indeed one of the most beautiful relationships.  In Islam, the relationship between us and Allah (SwT) is also instantly commenced when the  Athan (the call to prayer) was softly made in our ears shortly after our birth.  Then we start to form relationships with other close relatives, friends, neighbours, teachers, and employers. And then, in sha Allah, we form one of the most important relationships in our lives, which can be the basis for a healthy and strong family and society – and that is the relationship with our spouses and children. Allah (SwT) beautifully describes the relationship between spouses in the Quran by stating: “ And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put  love and mercy   between your (hearts); verily in that ...

I am not a feminist, but I am an advocate for justice and equity for all members of society: women, men, children, people of all races and faiths, the poor and the oppressed.   In my understanding, feminists today are still fighting for women’s rights, as are all other types of advocates on behalf of other populations.  Yet, as a young Muslim Palestinian-Canadian woman, I am so honoured and humbled by how my faith, over 1400 years ago, brought justice to all members of society: especially women.   Today, Muslim women are seen by some as oppressed and backward; yet, I feel quite the contrary.  I feel liberated, empowered, and ultimately blessed.   I feel liberated because wearing my headscarf encourages others to deal with me according to my character and intellect as opposed to my physical appearance.   I feel empowered because Islam gave me the rights to knowledge, to handle my own financial matters, to inherit, to take part in the political and social sphere, and t...

Rare are the times when you are so profoundly affected by the story and power of a single human being.  A human being that although having experienced tremendous tragedy and sadness, rises from the tragedy to spread a message to the world titled: “I Shall Not Hate.” Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Muslim Palestinian medical doctor, who was the first official doctor to practice in an Israeli hospital, enlightened us with his presence in Ottawa on March 5, 2011 in the Ottawa Public Library.  Dr. Abuelaish was here to share us with us the story behind his best seller book, “I Shall Not Hate”.  The Gaza based doctor, now living and practicing at the University of Toronto, lost his wife to leukemia in September 2008, leaving behind eight children.  Dr. Abuelaish spoke so beautifully of his late wife and the significant role of a mother having experienced firsthand how tremendous the role of his mother was in his life to push him to succeed and achieve what nobody else in his place had achieved be...

Many people will spend months and sometimes even years preparing for a wedding that will last a few hours, not to mention the tens of thousands of dollars invested as well.  But how many people actually prepare for  marriage  itself, which could last a lifetime, by ensuring they have selected the most suitable partner, based on the criteria set out by the Quran and Sunnah and the advice of experts in the field of forming healthy relationships that lead to successful marriages?   Unfortunately, it seems like we are facing a crisis as the rate of singles, the average age of marriage, as well as the rate of divorce have all increased in our Muslim community.  It is especially alarming that the rate of divorce has increased in the first year or two of marriage, indicating the couple may have lacked in-depth knowledge of the personality and life style of each other before the marriage was completed, as well as possibly lacked the commitment needed to make the marriag...

Subhana’Allah, sometimes we find in life that we are facing a challenging time in one particular area or situation, but then without any indications or pointers, we’re given a wave of something so beautiful, so relieving, so profound.  Something that allows us to truly feel that Allah (SwT) is with us, every step of the way, seeing, hearing, and knowing all that we are experiencing without us having to even utter a word. That wave can be a moment of tasting the sweetness of faith – a moment where we truly feel that our hearts have humbled themselves to Allah (swt).  One of those moments can come as we sit after prayer and ask Him for His blessings, both in this world and in the hereafter. That meaning of uboodiyah – a true state of worship – where we are not just performing rituals, but we are putting forth our entire selves as we try to draw nearer to our Lord – The All-Merciful, The Sustainer, The Creator, The One Who holds the dominion in the heavens and the earth.  Life these ...

The second most common communication problem is what we call ‘Relationship Icebergs’ – these are basically unspoken, unexplained expectations within a relationship that seem so blatantly obvious to one partner, yet are completely not acknowledged or recognized by the other partner. The result is resentment, disappointment, and hurt.The point isn’t to eliminate all expectations of those we love – the problem is that we assume, particularly from those close to us, that they are aware and completely willing to fulfill our expectations of them. Unspoken expectations are to relationships what icebergs were to the Titanic. So, although there might be only a glimpse of them above the water, their power to destroy is indeed very serious and can sink what was thought to be unsinkable. For more information, please see www.findingloveandmercy.com .

You know the typical conversation you get into sometimes with your spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend: -“You did this…” -“No you did that…” -“You never understand..” -“No you don’t get it…” So the individuals in this conversation haven’t exactly demonstrated excellent communication skills, or offered any new solutions or reached a greater level of understanding, right? This happens when the way something is said becomes the reason of the fight, instead of the actual issue – so you start ‘fighting about the fight’. Such a situation causes a waste of time, hurt feelings, and can cause some real detriment to a relationship. Think about it – how do we react when we’re told we’re wrong, to blame, or made a mistake? We may become defensive or enter into attack mode, even if what’s being said is correct. So how do we resolve this? Stay tuned for the rest of the four most common communication problems. For more info, please visit www.findingloveandmercy.com

Many people will think about finding the ‘one’, the love and mercy that Allah (swt) promises us in the Quran, and whether a soul mate really exists out there. Alhamdullilah, I do believe that soul mates exist. I do believe that marriages can and should have the love and mercy that Allah promises us in the Quran. And I do believe that you should find tranquility and happiness in your marriage in sha Allah. Many times, it seems like concepts such as love and soul mates are only associated with pop culture movies and therefore are over-exaggerated and unrealistic. However, if we look into our own Islamic traditions, the stories of pure love and the idea of having two souls be a fit for one another, certainly does exist. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was only married to our mother Khadijah for 25 years and over a year after her death, when he was asked if he would re-marry, his blessed head dropped down and tears dripped from his eyes whilst he said “And is there anyone after ...

Most of us can agree that the vast majority of us need and want a committed relationship – we want to love and be loved. As social beings, we need intimacy and connection with a community of friends and family, and a stable marriage that meets our emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. If this is the case though, then how come the divorce rate is not going down, and the marriage rate is not going up? The following are the top 20 Challenges that face singles today: 1. Not knowing what you’re looking for; having unclear expectations 2. Having a long “grocery list” and looking for the one person to match it 3. Living in fear that you will repeat past experiences 4. Not healing before starting a new relationship 5. For women, feeling that their biological clock is running out 6. For men, fearing to start a family and stay committed 7. Lowering of standards by older singles, or giving up or settling because they’re afraid they will always be alone 8. Not knowing where to meet suitable pa...

Your Contribution to Humanity One of the questions that many of us may have been asked as children was: “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”  And maybe to a certain extent, many of us still ask that question of ourselves.   Choosing a career path is certainly not an easy matter for your career choice could impact everything in your life – your health, your family, your relationships, your financial status – and even your faith.  So many people have ended up in careers they are unsatisfied with because they never took the time to really think about it and plan for it.   As a Muslim, what should you base your career choice upon? Let us first take a step back  and remember our ultimate purpose on earth.  Allah (swt) tells us: “And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me ” (Quran 51:56) and “When your Lord said to the angels: ‘I am placing on the earth a caliph…” (2:30).   So when thinking about a career path, it’s important ...

Courage to Change Not many of us crave change.  In fact, many of us will try to avoid it and some will even resist it.  This is given that subhana’Allah change is one of the only constants we have in life.  Change affects every aspect of our lives: our relationships, our roles and careers, our health, and our level of iman, amongst other aspects. We are born as tiny helpless infants and if Allah (SwT) wills, we grow into active children and youth, then ambitious adults, and finally we grow old and become frail and weak yet again. This is just one example of the constant state of change in our lives.  We change not only physically, but emotionally.  Allah (SwT) tells us in the Quran: “And that it is He who makes one laugh and weep” (Surat Al-Najm: 44).  One day we are happy, and the next may bring sadness, but then again, Allah (SwT) also tells us:  “With hardship there is ease” (Surah al-Sharh V. 5-6). If change is a constant in our life, then I wonder why we always try to avoid it and...

Have you decided where you want to be in the next 5 to 10 years of your life?   In his book, Awaken the Giant Within , Anthony Robbins makes such a simple, yet thoughtful statement.  He says “You see, ten years from now, you will surely arrive.  The question is: Where? Who will you have become? How will you live? What will you contribute? Now is the time to design the next ten years of your life – not once they’re over”.  Many times, we are in the “I wish I had done that” mode – we always seem to realize what we could have done a lot later than when we could have actually done it.  This statement also comes up several times in the Quran when people wished if they had believed or they wished if they had done good.   The reason for this is that we are not able to make firm decisions and commit to them.  Or we let the circumstances or the people around us make our decisions for us.   What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous sta...

Transform your Trials into Triumphs   Do you find yourself constantly reacting to the circumstances around you? Are you caught in a never-ending blame game with the people around you?   If so, would you like to be proactive instead?  Being proactive involves more than taking initiative – it is to take responsibility to ensure that we are living our life the way we want.  Steven Covey presents an interesting angle on the word responsibility – if you break up the word, it’s “response-ability”.  So it is your ability to choose the way in which you respond. And that way should be based on a set of personal or religious values and conscious decision making as opposed to a reaction based on emotions.   When people react to the circumstances and people around them, anything and everything could affect their attitude and therefore their effectiveness.  If the weather is bad, this can affect them.  If someone does not treat them well or is having a bad day, this also affects them...

As I first land in Medina, I feel this sudden rush of joy, thinking to myself, could I possibly be treading upon the same earth as the Prophet (peace be upon him)? Could I possibly be so close to visiting him (peace be upon him)?   The feeling intensifies further once I arrive in Mecca and slowly approach the Sacred Kaaba.   I stride slowly, overwhelmed by the masses of people and trying to keep close to my husband in fear of becoming lost, yet I am lost already.  I am lost in a sea of hope, awe, and admiration for this beautiful, blessed place.   A few years ago, Allah (SwT) blessed my husband and I with the trip of our lifetimes.  It was the journey to Mecca to perform our hajj.  I remember trying to read everything I could possibly get my hands on about hajj before leaving, talking to as many people as I can, and looking at every existing “to-do list”.   I embarked on this journey thinking I was as prepared as I could be, but subhana’ Allah, I feel ...

Allah (SwT) tells us in the Quran: “Wealth and children are an adornment of the present, worldly life, but the good, righteous deeds (based on faith and) which endure are better in the sight of your Lord in bringing reward and better to aspire for” (18:46) So, if you or a friend are thinking of having a baby, or are currently pregnant, there is a lot to learn about pregnancy and well-being:)  I know sometimes if this isn’t the first pregnancy, we’re too tired and too busy with the first child(ren) (and rightfully so) to really keep up but subhana’Allah, I believe every single child we carry and every single life out there deserves the best we can possibly provide it with.  So may Allah enable us to give each and every one of our children, our best, in sha Allah. I just came across this resource – a free online prenatal course developed by Ottawa Public Health at the following link: http://anewlife.ca/oph/en/home-page There’s also a prenatal hand...

I recently listened to a lecture by Dr. Tariq Suwaidan on the Prophet (peace be upon him) and how he was the greatest role model of an effective leader.  And in his lecture, he made reference to the  Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership  which are found in Kouzes & Posner book “The Leadership Challenge” which is cited to be the most trusted source on becoming a better leader and based on over 20 years of research of what the best and exemplary leadership practices are.  And alhamdullilah, I happened to have the book so started to browse through it again. Here’s a summary of the five practices: 1) Model the way -Clarify Values:  Find your voice, affirm shared values, reflection and action -Set the Example : personify the shared values, teach others to model the values, reflection and action 2) Inspire a shared vision -Envision the Future : imagine the possibilities, find a common purpose, reflection and action -Enlist Others:  appeal to common ideals, animate the ...

This is a Time Matrix taken from Stevey Covey’s material.  Guess which one is the ideal quadrant to be in? Quadrant #2 – we should spend the  majority of our time doing important, not urgent items because this means we are prioritizing our time and our schedules. Guess which quadrant will cause burnout? Yes, Quadrant 1 – although the items are important, the fact that they are urgent means that you are constantly under pressure which will eventually lead to burn out. And guess unfortunately where some will spend a majority of their time? In quadrants three and four. So feel free to print out the quadrant, post it where you can see it and do a quick count over one week (or even two or three days) of where you spend the majority of your time. All the best always,                                                                                                                                                                  Urgent                                            ...

You  might have heard that quote before – “if there’s a will, there’s a way”. Willpower, determination, motivation – they all indicate a great drive to achieve your goals and dreams. I watched an Islamic program yesterday on the topic and it mentioned two barriers and three steps to having a great level of motivation. The two barriers are: 1) Previous bad experiences that hold us back from achieving our goals.  These previous bad experiences can cause a fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc. 2) Negative societal pressure – the good old saying, well everyone else does this or everyone else doesn’t do this. And the three steps to achieving a high level of motivation are: 1) Rebel – against your bad habits including health habits like overeating, over-sleeping, laziness, and procrastination. 2) Be daring/take a risk – against your fears – step out of your comfort zone and reach out for your dreams – as long as they are within the boundaries of Islamic guidelines.  Anyone t...

If you want it, believe in it, pray for it, work for it…. You will achieve it in sha Allah.  I decided the very first post I write on this website after the welcome message would be how this project came to fruition.  It has been months if not years since the thought of having a project like this has been circulating in my mind but having gone multiple transitions from moving to marriage to motherhood, it was delayed.  It was delayed until I reached a point where I longed to make a true difference in the world, where my soul searched and searched for true contentment, and where I prayed to Allah (SwT) that He guides me to the best and grants me an opportunity to make that profound difference I have always longed for. And subhana’Allah, it was only days after, that I mustered the energy, strength, and inspiration to launch this project.  After Allah (SwT), I owe a thank you to my husband who encouraged me to take the leap and pursue my dream. My dream of touching the lives of Musli...

In this section we’ll cover: – Career Planning -Business Ideas -Launching a Business and Staying Afloat -Networking

This category will include topics on how to maintain your physical and mental wellness.

In this category, we’ll discuss how to develop your skills, talents which could include self-esteem, confidence, leadership.

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In this section we’ll be discussing readiness for marriage, selecting a partner, and steps to an Islamic marriage.

In this category, we’ll be discussing the following in addition to more: -Belief and Worship -Hijab -Quran -Prayer

Assalamu alaikum my dear Muslim sister, Welcome to Muslimwomensuccesscoach.com.  Whether you are younger or older, whether you are single, married, a mother or even a grandmother, whether you are new to Islam or born a Muslim, in sha Allah you will find value, inspiration and a space here just for you.  A space for all Muslim women because there is one factor that unifies us all: our belief in God and practice of a faith so profound and beautiful. A space for all Muslim women because we all bear great responsibilities – whether we are students, teachers, mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, community activists, employees, volunteers, or business owners, we all have a profound difference we can make, in sha Allah. Although a Muslim woman can harbour immense power, given to her by the Creator of the Universe, she does not have to nor is she expected to do it all alone.  We as women need community to thrive.  We need other women to support us in the process.  Given that we live in a world ...