I Shall Not Hate: A Story of Strength, Mercy, and Hope

Rare are the times when you are so profoundly affected by the story and power of a single human being.  A human being that although having experienced tremendous tragedy and sadness, rises from the tragedy to spread a message to the world titled: “I Shall Not Hate.”

Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Muslim Palestinian medical doctor, who was the first official doctor to practice in an Israeli hospital, enlightened us with his presence in Ottawa on March 5, 2011 in the Ottawa Public Library.  Dr. Abuelaish was here to share us with us the story behind his best seller book, “I Shall Not Hate”.  The Gaza based doctor, now living and practicing at the University of Toronto, lost his wife to leukemia in September 2008, leaving behind eight children.  Dr. Abuelaish spoke so beautifully of his late wife and the significant role of a mother having experienced firsthand how tremendous the role of his mother was in his life to push him to succeed and achieve what nobody else in his place had achieved before.  He proclaimed that mothers are the real heroes, moving the hearts of every mother, every daughter, and every son, in the room.

Four short months later, he lost three of his daughters during an Israeli bomb shelling in Gaza – the daughters that were not armed with weapons or hatred, but solely with love and hope.  His oldest to pass away was Beesan, the daughter who had assumed the role of surrogate mother after the passing away of her mother, and one of the first Palestinian girls to attend peace camps with Muslims, Christians, and Jews.  Beesan had told her father that meeting violence with violence is not the solution.  His second, Mayar, had planned to be a doctor, to join her father in the profession of saving lives.  His third, Aya, had dreamed of being a journalist or a lawyer so that she can be the voice of the oppressed and voiceless.

“I just wanted to see their faces”, Dr. Abuelaish said with tears in his eyes, evoking tears in many of the audience before his eyes.  “Those beautiful young women became parts”.  What could one possibly say or feel when hearing a father say such a thing about his daughters?

“Human life is not a matter of negotiation”, he continues to explain, sadly explaining how at the time, and to this date, Gazans have become numbers, statistics, as if they are not humans that have faces, names, and hopes.

Dr. Abuelaish though was not here only so he can share this most tragic story with us – he was here and has dedicated his life to share a message of hope, love, and mercy with all of us.  He explains how his faith helped him a lot to endure all of these difficulties announcing that Islam is a religion of mercy and stating verses from the Quran such as: “You may hate something which is good for you and you may love something which is bad for you. God knows and you know not”.

He knew that this tragedy must be for good and indeed, the tragedy opened the eyes of the international community, and the second day after the shelling of his house, it was unilaterally announced as cease-fire.  He felt that the blood of his daughters was not wasted – that it made a difference, that it saved lives.

“We need to dream”, Dr. Abuelaish said with hope, “Nothing is impossible in life”.  Everything that the doctor had planned, with God’s help, faith, and hard work he was able to achieve.  The only thing he knows he will not be able to achieve is bringing his daughters back, but he says with determination “I can make them justice and I can make them alive amongst us”.

“Hate will never help”, he says so simply, yet profoundly.  He believes hate is a poison, a chronic disease, a fire that eats the one who carries it.  He counters this hate, with guidance from the Quran, “Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and kindness”, and that although it says “An eye for an eye”, the rest of that verse explains: “If you endure patiently and forgive, God will reward you”, and he sees nothing greater than the reward of God.

After forgiveness, Dr. Abuelaish inspires all of us to take action by looking inside ourselves and around us and seeing what we have lost.  We have lost the most important thing – we have lost true happiness.  We thought happiness was with what we have, but it is really with what we share and give.  “Our enemy is our ignorance of each other, our arrogance, our greed”.  He asks all of us to resume being humans, to know each other, not just by name or face, but to know the core of one another.  After all, as he explains through the following Quranic verse: “We (God) have created you, nations and tribes, so that you may know each other”.  He is the first role model as he strives to build positive relations with Jews and people of all faiths in hopes of achieving a peaceful world.

What else have we lost? We have lost freedom – “Nobody was born occupied or oppressed”, the doctor explains – “Freedom is for everyone without any cost”.  Simply put, Dr. Abuelaish stated: “We cannot be free if others are not”.  He encouraged each of us to take responsibility and do our part, reminding us that evil flourishes when good people don’t do anything.  He emphasized his mission is to spread hope and that change starts within each and every one of us as he describes from another verse: “God does not change the status of a people until they change what is in their hearts, minds, and souls”.  He asks us to find the love we lost, he asks us to encourage women to take the lead because a healthy and educated girl and woman will raise a healthy and educated family, community, and nation.

In memory of his three daughters and in support of his mission to empower girls in the Middle East to strive for education, Dr. Abuelaish has set up a foundation called: “Daughters for Life”.  The foundation provides scholarships for high school and university education and will examine existing programs and services to find out what is working for girls and women, and what is not. It will develop new curriculum to fill the gaps and assist in improving current programs.  If you are interested in more information or in donating, please visit: http://www.daughtersforlife.com/.

The doctor ends with two important and beautiful messages that I think sum this up: “Our children are our future – we have to ask ourselves what world we want for them”.  Finally, he concludes with: “Have hope, have faith, take action”.